Ahh...I can almost taste the Hush Puppies and smell the leaves burning. In less than four weeks, I'll *probably* be driving back across this great country to Eastern NC home of the weirdest BBQ pork you've ever had, pig pickin's, flounder giggin', crab pots bobbing in the rivers and the sweetest sunsets I've ever seen.
It's so close, I can almost taste it. There's a bumper sticker you see around NC sometimes. I'm sure other southern states have just the same one. It says, "I wasn't born in NC, but I got here as fast as I could." The truth is, I just can't quit Eastern North Carolina. It's in my blood now.
And even though I yearn for a long hike in the Croatan and the Neusiok Trail right this very blessed minute, the details of how this will work get fuzzier and fuzzier by the hour. I’m okay with that though. Something has happened to me while I’ve been here in California, even in the last few months, that has changed me forever.
If I go (which I hope is how it will all play out), if I stay, I know it will be God working out the details. I was denied the grant I needed to really help out for this coming school year. I was denied because I made too much money last year. Ironic, no? Considering I’ve been unemployed since February.
In the midst of the storms of life, being so sick (I’m still not well with daily fevers and other craziness ensuing -- I’m now officially in my fourth week of being sick) and not knowing where I will go after this month and what I will be doing, I feel calm. Someday, when the storms have long passed, I will share my story. All of it. And people will understand why this blog is called, Restore.
I’ll say enough for you to know that I believe that God restores what has been lost. Maybe not in the way we expect. But He restores nonetheless. There have been many things that have been restored to me so far. A job, relationships, hopes and dreams. And I suspect there will be more to come.
Perhaps that’s why I can finally say I feel so peaceful about the outcome? Yes. It’s true. I miss Eastern NC so much I can almost taste it. It has become a part of me. It’s a part of my story. And there is more that must be restored. But the how and when remain mysteries.
I came home to CA and had relationships restored. I came home and remembered who I was. Returning to NC, with this foundation of restoration is my desire. It’s my desire because I think the rest of the story is waiting for me there. But the truth is, I don’t have a freaking clue how this will work.
While the potential is out there for a house sitting gig that would place me literally next door to the home I lived in for some time. I really don’t have a clue what’s coming. No. Clue. The picture above is the view I would have if I house sit, by the way. The photo was actually taken the last time I house sat there, many moons ago (around 7 or so years).
I’m only left with the impression that I have business to finish in Eastern NC. That and I’d kill for a Cheddar Bo Biscuit from Bojangles and an order of Hush Puppies from Smithfield’s. And I’m not going to lie, I’d love to sit on my couch and listen to a rip roaring thunderstorm about now.
I’m not sure how it will all work out. I only know that I’m not in control. And I’m pretty okay with that.
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